7 Compelling Conversations Singles Shouldn’t Neglect

If you’ve been in Church for a while, you would have attended a Retreat or Seminar for Singles. Even the online world has incorporated relationship into its packages.

The reason is simple:

“Marriage is either a long happy journey, or a long tale of sorrows.”-Ocheli Okutepa

Two days ago, I came upon a Relationship Master Class on a closed WhatsApp group. Sure, they might change the content and dwell on some concepts, but the basic idea is the same.

You learn how to:

• position yourself to meet the true one;

• treat the opposite sex before and after affirming your love;

• listen and attend to your partner’s needs;

deal with feelings for an unforgettable ex;

And more…

Despite these meetings, you still see marriages crashing.


I’m of the opinion the partners are to blame.

For instance:

A marriage ends in divorce after the tragic death of their children. Would you attribute the failure to the devil? You’d listen to the couple’s version before reaching a verdict. If they had listened to the doctor’s counsel seven years ago as regards their genotype, the divorce could have been averted.

They failed to realize the season of courtship involves talking about the real deal.

“If Love is blind, marriage will open your eyes.” – Anonymous

Today, you’ll discover seven conversations you shouldn’t ignore while dating. But first, let’s examine what you should do with your lips.

Come with me.

What Lovers Do With Their Lips

Lovers communicate. I can almost hear your thoughts…“Of course! Faith’sPen, we talk.” Let me burst your bubbles. Communication is a big deal. It is more than talking. It’s speaking, listening, understanding, and responding to what is being said. So, when I say communicate, I mean…


Below are compelling conversations you shouldn’t ignore:

1. Share Your Past Sexual Sin

Past sexual sin does not fade away like a dream. They hang on for a lifetime in your memories. But when you fail to understand the benefits of being in Christ Jesus, you’ll be ravaged by guilt and shame.

Though painful, it’s necessary you are honest about your past with your mate. You don’t have to dredge every sordid detail. Just let the person into a glimpse. If a child came out of that affair, spill it. Even if your partner walks away after the confession, realize God is able to bring someone better into your life.

But don’t make the mistake of claiming to be ‘clean’ when your cupboard is laced with cobwebs.

Here’s a quote from Dennis Rainey wrapping this thought:

“It’s better to speak the truth prior to your marriage than to live with the fear, deceit, and shame that comes from hiding the truth from your mate.”

2. Reveal Your Health Status

Back in 2010, there’s was a brother whose moral stance I admired. He never hugged, or held hands with ladies. He was a BRO. His fiancé testified theirs was a sex free relationship. Few months later, the marriage crashed.

Bro was impotent. Impotency, cloaked in spirituality. Na so the babe waka.

If you suffer a health challenge, talk to your mate. Don’t coat it with tongues and morality. If you do that, you are a hypocrite. Love does not deceive. Don’t play deceit and say you did it because you loved the person so much and didn’t want the person to walk away.

If you claim to love me, open up. If it’s something I can handle, why not?

3. Paint a Picture of Your Style of Appearance

This one eh, carry better weight. Shey, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder?

You must communicate what appearance means to you, to avoid friction in future.

Consider these:

• Is your mate cool with exposed cleavages, miniskirts, or gowns?

• Does your mate fancy coloured weavons, tattoos, make up, anklets, and nail polish?

• Does your mate fancy dreads, low cut or gorimakpa?

• Is your mate cool with trousers?

I’ll not marry a man who will stop me from wearing trousers. Mmba! I’m not a makeup freak either. In fact, I’ve never fixed my nails or used nail polish in my life. But if near Hubby wants any of these, I can adjust. But to stop me from wearing trousers, again I say, MMBA.

Deal with appearance before you become man and wife. It matters.

4. Decide on Your Choice of Church

Marriage is a blend of carnality and spirituality. The man is the spiritual head of the family. You must agree on which Church you would attend when you get married.

Don’t play love and say it doesn’t matter. Or claim to change your partner after marriage.

If you can’t settle for a particular denomination,biko, find your route. You can’t afford to groom confused children who would be tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine.

5. Talk about Finances

Consider these:

• What’s your mate’s take on personal savings, and spending?

• Does your mate believe in tithing and first fruit?

• Would you run a joint account?

• Who keeps the money?

• Who drafts the budget?

Money matters shouldn’t be ignored.

6. Talk about Food

I am not a foodie. But most of my male friends are. I’ll be foolish to conclude all men are foodies. The wise thing to do is discover my mate’s eating habits. What he likes and how he likes it. Wisdom is required he does same for me.

I dread dates at restaurants. Take me anywhere but not the restaurant, except on demand. I guess you’re reasoning what I like as food.

You have a responsibility to make your mate happy.

By the way, I love grilled chicken and macaroni. I’m not interested in salad.

7. Spell Your Vision

Don’t talk about other points I’ve raised, and fail to discuss vision.

Before you become one flesh, what’s the vision for your union?

Dear Sister, you aren’t in a man’s life to give him the latest sex style. You’re bonded to help him fulfill vision. You must be able to assess current changes and take advantage of them.

When your man sees opportunities, can you transform them into tangible realities?

Intending couples sit and talk about what they want to achieve, together.

Forever till death do you part is too short to make babies only.

Bro, sell your vision to your fiancée. Let her into what God has called you to do. You don’t need to hide. Let her in. Every woman is blessed with the ability to multitask. She may even bring ideas you never thought existed.

Be involved in your woman’s vision, as well.

Why won’t Hubby read my blog posts? Wahala go dey o.


There are literally hundreds of conversations singles should engage in, but let’s wrap it here.

I believe in a healthy marriage that glorifies God and inspires the next generation.

And by God’s grace, mine would be one.

So, don’t leave the success of your marital life to chance. Divorce can be avoided if you take advantage of these conversations.

There’s hope, right?
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10 thoughts on “7 Compelling Conversations Singles Shouldn’t Neglect

  1. Wow! What confirmation this message is, and timely I might add. My daughter called me from work last night to inform me of what time to pick her up, but really to tell me something else. “She was having some anxieties.” She didn’t go into it over the phone, but as soon as she got into the car she started sharing.
    There is this guy she’s been talking to and things are progressing a little….
    While her anxieties were more from a logistical standpoint, of not having a car right now, Abba used it to give me revelation of what relationships look like now-a-days. After asking her a series of questions about this gent, I realized that people “really don’t talk” these days, they text…
    Because of this, the important stuff that needs to be discussed NEVER gets talked about until things have gone further than they should have. I shared with her a recent happening in my life where a relationship started over text, but there was an underlying Spirit at work, God, which made a huge difference…
    But it was amazing seeing how technology is robbing us of developing relationships. I’m not going to drag this response out any longer, but thanks for the post, within 6 hours of my conversation with my daughter. Isn’t it amazing how God nudges us along…
    “Intending couples sit and talk….I hear You Lord….We must endure His process and follow Him along His path for our relational-lives, regardless of how long it takes, and regardless of what it looks like! In due time we will reap the reward of obeying His voice!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comment left me with deep truths.

      In this age, technology has robbed us of genuine relationships. Anyone can hide behind the keys of a phone and type words with no intention of commitment.

      Our interpretation depends on what we choose to hear.

      I pray your daughter chooses wisdom over her emotions. Feelings fizzle with time.

      Regardless of how long it takes, we’ll reap the reward of obedience, just as you have stated.

      Thanks for leaving a comment.

      God bless you, richly.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Reminds me of this Scripture “For in one place the Scriptures say, “What are mere mortals that you should think about them, or a son of man that you should care for him?”
      Hebrews 2:6 NLT

      God cares about you. And can use any medium to prove that.🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ABSOLUTELY!! And to think, He’s doing it NOW! And if I’m totally honest, I NEVER saw all of this coming!!

        In ALL your ways acknowledge Him,
        And He shall direct your paths…Proverbs 3:6

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You know, I’ve never cared to know about “past sexual sin” simply because there’s nothing I can do with that information (except maybe judge someone negatively). In my current relationship, we’re both made new in Christ, and it’s never crossed my mind to ask. (We’re going on 5 years and very happy!) 🙂
    But if it’s important to one or both people, then I 100% agree that honesty is best. Honesty, always. I love the rest of your tips, especially food– since I never thought of that, but it’s important!
    Great post! Take care and God bless 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love your perspective. But with so many sex scandals flying over the roof, some partners may want to probe to avoid traumatic events in future.

      An old saying goes thus, “Honesty is the best policy.”

      Food is very important.

      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

      God bless you, too.😘


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